It is not easy to have conversations with Japanese. Japanese have great difficulty in saying no to anything because it is ingrained that negative disrupts the harmony of a situation. Consequently, Japanese seem to say yes to almost anything – which should be interpreted as “Yes, I hear what you’re saying….. but that doesn’t necessarily mean that I agree with you.”

Japanese would respond to a negatively stated question (for example, “Don’t you have a car?”) differently than would Americans. To answer that question, the Japanese would say, “Yes” – meaning “Yes, I do not have a car.”

Not only is the language complex, there are also many unsaid among the Japanese. Here are some tips and advice on acceptable ways to have conversations with Japanese.

• Bowing is the traditional greeting. It is a sign of humility and respect.

• Proper posture is also regarded as important, so avoid slouching in your chair or plunking your feet up on the nearest table.

• Never do anything that will bring any form of embarrassment to a Japanese. This causes the loss of face.

• Never express affection in public, except with children.

• Smiling may be a way of hiding embarrassment. Similarly, showing the wide-open mouth (as when laughing uproariously) is considered rude.

• Pointing with fingers and loud sniffling of the nose should be avoided.

• Directly eye contact is not common.

• Handshakes may be given with a limp hand.

• Western women may be treated with either indifference or with abject curiosity. This is no reflection on gender. It is a result of centuries of Japan being a male-oriented society.

• Any conversation in Japan is likely to be roundabout, punctuated with periods of silence, excessively polite, and devoid of strong declarations or opinions.

“Do’s and Taboos of Using English Around the World” by Roger E. Axtell. Published by John Wiley & Sons, Inc.