In his book “The Sour Pack” Ronald Chu identified and illustrated the credo and lifestyle of a clan of young people in society in a comical way. Here are some of the illustrations taken from the book; perhaps you could find some of them familiar to you.

Woman: Am I beautiful?

Man: You’re a dark beauty.

Woman:         What does that mean?

Man: You’re really beautiful in total darkness.

_________________________________________________________________________

Man: Someone says that I’m predestined to have two wives.

Woman: Does it mean you’re going to have another woman?

Man: You’re already two different women before and after you make up.

_________________________________________________________________________

Woman: Let’s married on Valentine’s Day.

Man: Do you really think we’re suited for each other?

Woman: If we aren’t, we can divorce on April Fool’s Day.

_________________________________________________________________________

Man: Are we suitable for marriage since we differ so much in character?

Woman: I know there’s a huge gap in our thinking. But I’m still willing to give it a try.

Man: All right. If we aren’t suited for marriage, at least we’ll be suited for divorce.

_________________________________________________________________________

Woman: If we marry, where should we solemnize our marriage?

Man: Las Vegas.

Woman: Why?

Man: Where else shall we go for such a big gamble?

_________________________________________________________________________

Woman A: If you pick money as the basis for choosing a mate, you’re a realistic woman. If you pick love, you’re an idealistic woman and if you pick ability, you’re an intelligent woman.

Woman B: What if I pick all?

Woman A: The you’re an ordinary woman.

_________________________________________________________________________

Woman A: How can I make a man take a second look at me?

Woman B: Don’t let him have a first good look at you.

_________________________________________________________________________

Woman A: How does one prevent a man affection from going off the track?

Woman B: Don’t let his career gets on the right track.

_________________________________________________________________________

Woman A: What sort of man is suitable for a husband? A smart man or a foolish man?

Woman B: Neither. It should be a man willing to be a husband.

_________________________________________________________________________

Woman A: You way your dress shows off your character.

Woman B: What if I don’t dress anything?

Woman A: That will show off your boy friend’s character.

_________________________________________________________________________

Source: “The Sour Pack” by Ronald Chu, translated by Alan Chong. Published by Asiapac Book Pte Ltd

Allan and Barbara Pease produced a book “Why women can’t read maps …… and won’t stop talking” to help readers to learn more about women so that interaction and relationships with women can be more fulfilling, enjoyable and satisfying. Here are of the some points I have taken from the book for us to learn.

(1)       A man won’t admit mistakes because he thinks she won’t love him. But the reality is, a woman will love a man more if he admits his mistake.

(2)       When you are dealing with an upset woman, do not offer any solutions or invalidate her feelings – just show her that you are listening.

(3)       Don’t become angry when a woman gives you advice. For her, offering advice builds trust in a relationship and is not seen as a sign of weakness.

(4)       Talking about her problems is how a woman gets relief from stress. What she wants from you is to listen, not to offer solutions.

(5)       Tell her about your problems. For a woman, sharing problems is a sign of trust and friendship.

(6)       A woman loves to receive a card from a man. Buy an empty card and get another woman to teach you how to write a great message.

(7)       How much a man earns is not the most important thing to a woman. When a woman leaves a man, it is not because she is unhappy with what he can provide, but because she is emotionally unfulfilled.

(8)       Allow women to choose your clothing. Men are often colour blind to blue, red, or green and their brains have limited ability to match patterns and designs.

(9)       Do not criticise a woman for telling you to turn right when she really meant left. Women have difficulty telling their left from their right hand because most women use both sides of their brain for this task.

(10)     For women, speech has a clear purpose: to build relationships and make friends – not to solve problems.

(11)     When a woman talks at the end of the day, she doesn’t want interruptions with solutions to her problems.You are expected not to respond, just to listen.

(12)     To get on better with women, talk more. If a man is with a group of women, his lack of talks will make women think that he is distant, sulky or doesn’t want to join in.

(13)     Talking about day-to-day problems is how modern women cope with stress. They see it as bonding and being supportive.

(14)     A woman is four to six times more likely to touch another person in a social conversation than a man. Don’t misread a friendly touch.

(15)     A woman talks to show participation and build relationships. If a woman is talking to you a lot, she likes you. If she’s not talking to you, you’re in trouble.

(16)     A woman’s talk is unstructured and several subjects can be discussed at any one time with no conclusions being reach. For women, talking is just like shopping.

(17)     Never insist a woman to park her car if she doesn’t want to. Estimating the distance between the car bumper and the garage wall while moving is a spatial skill most women are not strong in.

(18)     If a woman asks you to choose between a pair of blue or gold shoes, don’t do it. If you choose, you’ll always be wrong. Ask her which one she has chosen and give her confirmation why this is an excellent choice.

(19)     A woman reads the meaning of what is being said through voice intonation and the speaker’s body language. This is exactly what you need to do to capture and keep her attention.

(20)     Women love men who can dance.

(21)     Most women will prefer to receive emotion-limited gifts like flowers and cards than practical gifts like toaster or car-jack.

Source : “Why women can’t read maps…. And won’t stop talking” by Allan & Barbara Pease. Published by Pease Training International Pty. Ltd, Australia.

Here are some points I have taken from the book “The One Minute Manager” about One Minute Management.

• Most companies spend more time and money on maintaining their buildings and equipment than they do on maintaining and developing people.
• In some organisations managers know what they want their people to do but these managers just tell their people in such ways assuming that their people should know want they want.
• Effective managers manager themselves and the people they work with so that both the organisation and the people profit from their presence.
• People who feel good about themselves produce good results. Helping people to feel good about themselves is a key to getting more things done.
• Most managers wait until their people do something right before they praise them. As a result, many people never get to become high performers because their managers concentrate on catching them doing things wrong.
• Be positive! When see someone doing something right, praise him or her. It is wrong to spend time catching people doing something wrong. Help people reach their full potential by catching them doing something right.
• Be sincere! Specifies exactly what people did right and be consistent in the praising.
• Remember that people are not pigeons. People are more complicated. They are aware and they able to think for themselves. They certainly do not want to be manipulated by another person. Respect is a key to good management.

Source: “The One Minute Manager” by Ken Blanchard and Spencer Johnson. Published by HarperCollins Publishers Inc.

In Singapore, we often hear people speaking with an ending ah or lah during conversations. These are known as tail-words and they do not carry any meaning by themselves. The rules in using tail words will come naturally when we get exposed to Singlish (Singapore English). Here are some commonly used tail-words that can be found in Singapore.

(1) Ah – Has a wide array of meanings, ranging from emphasis to being used as a question, depending on the intonation.
Examples : (a) You’re not coming-ah? (b) Thanks so much-ah. I really appreciate your help.

(2) Lah – Borrowed from Malay or the Chinese dialects. Does not have any meaning by itself but it is used for a variety of reasons, ranging from emphasis to softening the message.
Examples : (a) So sorry-lah. I completely forgot. (b) I don’t know lah. You ask her and see-lah!

(3) Meh – Usually used as a mild form of questioning. It is of Cantonese origin.
Examples : (a) I want to talk to you, cannot-meh? (b) You think you are so big-meh?

(4) One – This is pronounced as ‘waan’.
Examples : (a) Everything you ask, you sure get one! (b) I don’t want to go one but they asked me to come.

(5) What – Pronounced as ‘wut’. Used for emphasis.
Examples : “I don’t want to go what. Cannot-meh?”. “I told you already what! Why you always ask me the same questions?”

(6) Man – Not borrowed from any of the local languages or dialects. It might have originated from the Black English, as a result of influence from the mass media.
Examples : “Don’t try to be funny, man”. “I don’t get it, man!”

Source : “Manglish: Malaysian English at its wackiest!” by Lee Su Kim. Published by Times Books International, an imprint of Times Editions Pte Ltd.

(1) Also
In SgE, also tends to occur in one of two positions. It may occur immediately after the subject: ‘I also don’t know’. This tends to happen when also qualifies the subject (in this case, I). Alternatively, it may occur at the end of the sentence: ‘He sells cars also’. This tends to occur when also qualifies some other element in the sentence (in this case cars).

In GenE, also normally occurs before the main verb (or after a main verb be), regardless of the sentence which it qualifies: ‘He also sells cars’, ‘I am also a Libra’. If a GenE speaker wishes to ass an element at the end of the sentence, it has to be too or as well, not also: ‘I am a Libra too’, ‘He sells cars as well’.

(2) Irregardless
The words regardless and irrespective have identical meanings; compare “He carried on regardless/ irrespective of the danger”. However, these two words are regularly blended by many SgE speakers to give the new form irregardless: ‘He carried on irregardless of the danger’.

(3) Last time
The phase last time is used in SgE to mean ‘previously’ or even ‘a long time ago’, perhaps in the speaker’s childhood: ‘Last time I worked at Chan Brothers’. ‘Last time Raffles Hotel was on the seafront’.

In GenE, there are two meanings to the word time, one uncountable (Can you tell me the time?) and one countable (How many times has Mr Lee phoned?). Last time can only refer to the countable sense, and therefore means ‘on the last occasion’: ‘I am confident of passing my driving test this time. Last time I only failed by two points’.

(4) Like what
The phrase like what occurs in two main expressions in SgE: ‘So like what’ and ‘like what like that’. In both, like what means that something is so bad that words fail to describe. This could be used of almost anything: someone’s poor dress sense, a tastelessly flashy car, someone’s objectionable behaviour.

(5) Put up
The verb regularly used in SgE for staging a show is put up: ‘They put up a performance of Hamlet’. However, there is another meaning to the verb put up in SgE, namely ‘live’; for example, ‘Where do you put up?’ means ‘Where do you live?’ This verb has a similar meaning in GenE, but always refers to temporary accommodation. ‘We can put you up in the spare bedroom’ or ‘We’ll put up with friends for the night’. The SgE usage does not carry the same overtones of temporariness.

(6) Stay
In SgE, the question ‘Where do you stay?’ does not imply any kind of temporary arrangement, as it does in GenE (e.g. staying in a hotel). It is equivalent to the GenE ‘Where do you live?’ (to describe a long-term situation)

(7) Throw
The word throw in SgE covers the meaning expressed by both GenE throw and throw away. In GenE, for throw away, the particle away must be there: ‘He threw away the torn shirt’. The SgE sentence ‘He threw the torn shirt’ is ambiguous to GenE speakers as it may mean either ‘he discarded the shirt as useless’ or ‘he propelled the shirt through the air with his hand’.

Source : “Making Sense of Singapore English” by Adam Brown. Published by Federal Publications (S) Pte Ltd.

(1) Airflown
Restaurants in Singapore often advertise that their meat is airflown. This means that it has been imported quickly and is therefore flesh. The word airflown does not exist in General English (GenE), and may strike GenE listeners as curious: ‘how else can you fly but through the air?’

(2) Borrow
In most respects, borrow means the same for Singapore English (SgE) and GenE speakers, i.e. ‘take something from someone, usually with their permission, with the understanding that it will be returned after a certain time’. In GenE, this usually carries the implication that the thing will be taken away. For this reason, the SgE request ‘May I borrow your phone?’ sounds strange to GenE listeners, as the speaker is presumably not going to take the phone away. The GenE equivalent in this case is ‘May I use your phone?’

(3) Catch no ball
If Singaporeans say ‘catch no ball’, they mean don’t understand something. This is a literal translation of a Hokkien idiom.

(4) Chop
Apart from the word’s many other meanings, chop is used in SgE to mean a ‘stamp’, e.g. a company’s official stamp. It may also be used as a verb: ‘Please chop this form’. This usage comes from a Hindi word meaning ‘seal’.

(5) Drop
The verb drop can often be used in GenE to talk about alighting from cars: ‘Can you drop me off at the bus stop?’ ‘I’ll drop you right outside the entrance.’ Both of these contain the word drop used in a transitive sense, i.e. with an object (me, you). In SgE, the verb is often intransitively, as in ‘Stop the car; I can drop here’. This intransitive use can only occur in GenE with the meaning ‘fall’. When it means ‘alight from a car’, the verb get out is used.

(6) Friend
In GenE the word friend is a noun. In SgE its usage has been extended so that it can also be used as a verb, as in the sentence “I won’t friend you any more”. The corresponding GenE verb is be your friend.

(7) Give me
When some Singaporeans order food, for example at fast food restaurants, they say ‘Give me a hotdog’. This is grammatically correct. However, to British English (BrE) listeners this lacks common courtesy. In particular, the use of command give makes the sentence come across a strong order. There are various ways of saying this politely in BrE: ‘A hotdog, please’ or ‘Can I have a hotdog’.

(8) Got
For some SgE speakers, got is used as an all-purpose verb of possession. It obviously comes from the BrE have got, possibly because of the fact that have is always unstressed in this construction and therefore not perceived by these speakers. It is often heard in repetitive structures: “What kind of juice have You got?” “Orange juice got, apple juice got, pineapple juice got”.

(9) Off day
In GenE, there are two expressions: an off day and a day off. An off day means day when nothing goes right because you do things badly: ‘The goalkeepers had an off day and let in three simple goals’. A day off refers to a day’s leave taken from work: ‘I took a day off on Friday to catch up with the gardening’. In SgE, the first expression is used with the second meaning; in other words a SgE off day is a day’s leave. GenE listeners may therefore wonder why SgE speakers feel they perform so badly, when in fact they are simply taking time off work.

(10) One kind
One kind is used in SgE to mean ‘bad or weird’. It is used of a person’s behavior or appearance (as a mark of their personality): ‘Her dress is so one kind, I don’t understand her’, ‘she is so one kind’.

(11) Spend
When Singaporeans speakers take someone out for dinner on his birthday, they may say
“Let me spend you”. In GenE, you cannot spend a person; you can only spend money, time or energy. The GenE equivalent of the SgE construction is ‘Let me treat you”, i.e. “I will pay for the meal”.

(12) Spoilt
In GenE, there are restrictions on the kinds of things that can be spoilt. Spoil is defined as ‘destroy the value, quality or pleasure of’. Your enjoyment, the evening, a child, your appetite, the view and food can all be spoilt in GenE. Apart from food, these are all quite abstract concepts. It is not possible for machinery to be spoilt. However, that is the most common usage of this word in SgE: ‘My keyboard is spoilt’. Broken is the normal GenE word for this.

Source : “Making Sense of Singapore English” by Adam Brown. Published by Federal Publications (S) Pte Ltd.

“The One Minute Manager”, written by Ken Blanchard and Spencer Johnson, reveals the three simple, easy-to-use One Minute Management Secrets. The One Minute Manger sets One Minute Goals with his people to make sure that they know what they are being held accountable for and what performance look like. He tries to catch them doing something right so that he can give them a One Minute Praising. Finally, if they have the skills to do something right and they don’t, he will give them a One Minute Reprimand.

(a) One Minute Goals Setting
* agree on your goals
* see what good behavior looks like
* write out each of the goal on a single sheet of paper using less than 250 words
* read and re-read each goals which requires only a minute or so each time you do it
* take a minute every once in a while out of your day to look at your performance
* see whether or not your behavior matches your goals

(b) One Minute Praisings
* tell people up front that you are going to let them know how they are doing
* praise them immediately
* tell people what they did right and be specific
* tell people how good you feel about what they did right and how it helps the organisation and the other people who work there
* stop for a moment of silence to let them “feel” how good you feel
* encourage them to do more of the same
* shake hands or touch people in a way that makes it clear that you support their success in the organisation

(c) One Minute Reprimands
* tell people beforehand that you are going to let them know how they are doing and in no uncertain terms

the first half of the reprimand
* reprimand people immediately
* tell people what they did wrong and be specific
* tell people how you feel about what they did wrong and in no uncertain terms
* stop for a few seconds of uncomfortable silence to let them “feel” how you feel

the second half of the reprimand
* shake hands or touch them in a way that lets them know you are honestly on their side
* remind them how much you value them
* reaffirm that you think well of them but not of their performance in t his situation
* realize that when the reprimand is over, it’s over

Source: “The One Minute Manager” by Ken Blanchard and Spencer Johnson. Published by HarperCollins Publishers Inc.

We study English in school and we are able to use English to communicate with others. Do you know where did the English language come from? Yes, it is from Britain but do you know that many of the English words we use today are not really English words? I mean they are not originally from Britain. These are known as “borrowed words”. Some people might call them “stolen words” because the words are never return.

Some of these words are imported from Latin. Others are from German, France and Scandinavia (such as Norway). French was once the official language in Britain and the Royal Families and first class people speak French. Those who speak English are considered as second class people. No wonder the French are so proud of their language and reluctant to speak English even if they know the language well. If you are want to go to Paris, please learn a few words of French, such as merci, bonjour and monsieur as you might get ignored by the French if you do not speak a single word of French.

Here are the Seven Ages of English. You could see that Britain has been invaded by many people. First, the Romans where Latin was bought in and later comes the Ango-Saxon (now known as German), the Vikings from Scandinavia and the Norman (the French).

(1) Pre-English Period ( -c. AD 450)
Local languages in Britain are Celtic. After the Roman invasion c. 55 BC Latin becomes the dominant language of culture and government. Many communities in Britain are bilingual Celtic-Latin.

(2) Early Old English (450 – c. 850)
Anglo-Saxon invasion c AD 499 when Romans leave. Settlers bring a variety of Germanic dialects from mainland Europe. First English literature appears c. AD 700. English borrows many words from Latin via the church.

(3) Later Old English (c. 850-1100)
Extension invasion and settlement from Scandinavia. In the north of England dialects of English become strongly influenced by Scandinavian languages. In the south King Alfred arranges for many Latin texts to be translated.

(4) Middle English (c. 1100-1450)
Norman conquest and Norman rule. English vocabulary and spelling now affected by French, which becomes the official language in England, Educated English people trilingual (French, Latin, English).

(5) Early Modern English (c. 1450-1750)
Includes the Renaissance, the Elizabethan era and Shakespeare. The role of the church, of Latin and of French declines and English becomes a language of science and government. Britain grows commercially and acquires overseas colonies. English taken to the Americas, Australia and India. Slave trade carries black speakers of African languages to Caribbean and America, giving rise to English creoles. English acquires a typographic identity with the rise of printing. Many attempts to “standardize and fix” the language with dictionaries and grammars.

(6) Modern English (c. 1750-1950)
Britain experiences industrial revolution and consolidates imperial power, introducing English medium education in many parts of the world. English becomes the international; language of advertising and consumerism.

(7) Late Modern English (c. 1950 – _
Britain retreats from empire. New standardized varieties of English emerge in newly independent countries. English becomes the international language of communications t4echnology. American English becomes the dominant world variety.

Source: “English history, diversity and change” by David Graddol, Dick Leith and Joan Swann.

汉皇重色思倾国，御宇多年求不得。
杨家有女初长成，养在深闺人未识。
天生丽质难自弃，一朝选在君王侧。
回眸一笑百媚生，六宫粉黛无颜色。
春寒赐浴华清池，温泉水滑洗凝脂。
侍儿扶起娇无力，始是新承恩泽时。
云鬓花颜金步摇，芙蓉帐暖度春宵。
春宵苦短日高起，从此君王不早朝。
承欢侍宴无闲暇，春从春游夜专夜。
后宫佳丽三千人，三千宠爱在一身。
金屋妆成娇侍夜，玉楼宴罢醉和春。
姊妹弟兄皆列士，可怜光彩生门户。
遂令天下父母心，不重生男重生女。
骊宫高处入青云，仙乐风飘处处闻。
缓歌慢舞凝丝竹，尽日君王看不足。
渔阳鼙鼓动地来，惊破霓裳羽衣曲。
九重城阙烟尘生，千乘万骑西南行。
翠华摇摇行复止，西出都门百余里。
六军不发无奈何，宛转蛾眉马前死。
无人花钿委地收，翠翘金雀玉搔头。
君王掩面救不得，回看血泪相和流。
黄埃散漫风萧索，云栈萦纡登剑阁；
峨嵋山下少人行，旌旗无光日色薄。
蜀江水碧蜀山清，圣主朝朝暮暮情。
行宫见月伤心色，夜雨闻铃肠断声。
天旋地转回龙驭，到此踌躇不能去；
马嵬坡下泥土中，不见玉颜空死处。
君臣相顾尽沾衣，东望都门信马归。
归来池苑皆依旧，太液芙蓉未央柳。
芙蓉如面柳如眉，对此如何不泪垂！
春风桃李花开日，秋雨梧桐叶落时。
西宫南内多秋草，落叶满阶红不扫。
梨园弟子白发新，椒房阿监青娥老。
夕殿萤飞思悄然，孤灯挑尽未成眠。
迟迟钟鼓初长夜，耿耿星河欲曙天。
鸳鸯瓦冷霜华重，翡翠衾寒谁与共？
悠悠生死别经年，魂魄不曾来入梦。
临邛道士鸿都客，能以精诚致魂魄。
为感君王辗转思，遂教方士殷勤觅。
排空驭气奔如电，升天入地求之遍。
上穷碧落下黄泉，两处茫茫皆不见。
忽闻海上有仙山，山在虚无缥缈间。
楼阁玲珑五云起，其中绰约多仙子。
中有一人字太真，雪肤花貌参差是。
金阙西厢叩玉扃，转教小玉报双成。
闻道汉家天子使，九华帐里梦魂惊。
揽衣推枕起徘徊，珠箔银屏迤逦开。
云髻半偏新睡觉，花冠不整下堂来。
风吹仙袂飘飘举，犹似霓裳羽衣舞。
玉容寂寞泪阑干，梨花一枝春带雨。
含情凝睇谢君王，一别音容两渺茫。
昭阳殿里恩爱绝，蓬莱宫中日月长。
回头下望人寰处，不见长安见尘雾。
唯将旧物表深情，钿合金钗寄将去。
钗留一股合一扇，钗擘黄金合分钿。
但教心似金钿坚，天上人间会相见。
临别殷勤重寄词，词中有誓两心知。
七月七日长生殿，夜半无人私语时。
在天愿作比翼鸟，在地愿为连理枝。
天长地久有时尽，此恨绵绵无绝期。