• If adults commit adultery, do infants commit infantry?
• If olive oil is made from olives, what do they made baby oil from?
• If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian consume?
• If pro and con are opposites, is progress the opposites of congress?
• A broadcast report noted that the “Supreme Court is reviewing a request by a prison to allow use of a new drug developed for lethal injections, even though it has not been certified safe and effective by the Food and Drug Administration.”
• Convicted murderer William Code Neal asserted at his sentence hearing, “I accept responsibility for the murder. If I lose my life, I can live with that.”
• If a group insurance handbook : If your medical insurance terminates for any reason including death, you may elect within 30 days to continue such medicine insurance.
• One a leaflet : If you cannot read, this leaflet will tell you how to get lessons.
• Fifty-five people percent of young people looking for their first jobs are unemployed.
• As you will see, the limitations of this product are endless.
• You can get two free drinks for the price of one.
• Once he’d gone past the point of no return, there was no going back.
• Publicize your business absolutely free. Send $6.
• The only different between me and a madman is that I am not mad – Salvador Dali.
• Turn your coins into cash today.
• Ad for answering machine : You may leave message of any length up to five minutes.

We are living in an advertising world. The advertisements here are more entertaining than the articles, stories and special features.

• Our vacuum cleaner sucks
• If any piece proves defective, we will replace it with one of the similar quality
• You can order our rings by post. State size or enclose a string tied around your finger
• All the chicken you can eat. This is the same delicious chicken we have been serving for the past five years
• We offer competitive salaries, full benefits, and real growth opportunities that are often promised, but rarely delivered
• Divorce $99. Bankruptcy included
• Help wanted : must have experience sewing, crafts, and quitting
• Wanted : Salesgirl. Must be respectable until after Christmas
• Wanted : Woman to hook rugs and a salesman
• Jack’s laundry : Leave your clothes here. And spend the afternoon. Have a good time.
• Shakespeare’s Pizza – Free chopsticks
• Apt for rent : Water, heat, garbage provided
• Free : farm kittens, ready to eat
• For sale : Antique desk suitable for lay with thick legs and large drawers
• Tired of cleaning yourself? Let me so it.
• Our bikinis are exciting. They are simply the tops.
• Try our cough syrup. You will never get any better.
• Wanted : Young woman to pick fruits and produce at night.