Sometimes there are more laughs on the advertising and classified pages than we can find in cartoons and comic strips. Here are some ads taken from “Anguished English” by Richard Lederer for you to have a good laugh.

• For Sale: Antique desk suitable for lady with think legs and large drawers.
• A superb and inexperience restaurant: Fine foods expertly served by waitresses in appetizing forms.
• Dinner Special: Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children $2.00.
• Now is your chance to have your ears pierced and get an extra pair to take home too!
• Wanted: Unmarried girls to pick fresh fruits and produce at night.
• Wanted: 50 girls for stripping machine operators in factory.
• We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand.
• Tried of cleaning yourself? Let me do it.
• Dog for sale: Eats anything and is fond of children.
• Vacation Special: Have your home exterminated.
• Toaster: A gift that every member of the family appreciates. Automatically burns toast.
• Sheer stockings: Designed for fancy dress, but so serviceable that lots of women wear nothing else.
• Save regularly in our bank. You’ll never reget it.
• For Rent: 6-room hated apartment.
• Man, honest. Will take anything.
• Used Cars: Why go elsewhere to be cheated? Come here first!
• Christmas tag-sale: Handmade gifts for the hard-to-find person.
• Modular Sofas: Only $299. For rest or fore play.
• Wanted: Man to take care of cow that does not smoke or drink.
• Our bikinis are exciting. They are simply the tops.
• Illiterate? Write today for free help.
• Wanted! Widower with school-age children requires person to assume general housekeeping duties. Must be capable of contributing to growth of family.

Source : Anguished English by Richard Lederer